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Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Life After Monday

I suppose this is the best we can expect from our Irish summer. Grey cloudy sky, little patches of blue here and there, 16C (that's 61F for the non Europeans) and drizzle every 30 minutes like clockwork. Mind you when the sun does come out it's scorching... Oh for big patch of blue...

Still, I do live in a sub tropical jungle (apart from the temps) so I can't really complain about the rain. Can I ?

I spent the morning writing, and then after a lunch of scrambled free range eggs (courtesy of a guy from Kinvara farmer's market), I picked more tomatoes in the tunnel and tied up all the new growth. Loads of cucumbers coming along too (I've already picked and eaten 3).

So now I am going to chill for a while, maybe read, and maybe muse about my day out yesterday...

It all started great. Fantastic even.

I decided to go with the jeans and leather booties, and to sneak the sawn off wellies into the back of the car just in case... It was raining hard on and off and most of my skirts almost drag the ground.

It's a long time since I had a first date, and it shows...

I had to leave at 12.25pm. At 12.10pm I looked for my clean jeans and couldn't find them. At 12.20pm after frantically turning my bedroom upside down, I found them. In the laundry room soaking wet.

Panic. I let MM know I'm going to be late. He replies "No worry, so am I". Hmmmm he was going to be late !!! Grrrrrrr

Plan B

Grab skirt and sandals. Dress fast.

Look for mascara, lipstick and lipgloss. Problem. I haven't used these for probably 8 months. I can't find them.

Dig out old make up and apply mascara (old and non waterproof) and lip stuff.

Hurl myself into car.

Sniff. Sniff again. Something smells dead. Thinks what a waste my perfume will be if all he can smell if Eau De Rotting Something.

Search car and finally the boot. I haul out 2 bunches of rotting rhubarb with leaves. Carefully. As I have on a very white cotton overshirt. Fling remains on the side of the drive. Wow I didn't get any on me.

Drive off.

Phew, now I can slow down and enjoy the day. Everything is cool in my world.

About 3 miles from my house I realise that the engine temperature gauge is rising... too far. I then remembered that I had intended to top up the water in the system. Damn.

I drove from then on with the heater on full, and the fan on full blast, as this was the only way to stop the engine from melting or spontaneously combusting (or whatever it does when it overheats).

About 10 miles down the road I glance in the rear view mirror and see a human strawberry looking back at me. Oh gawd. What an impact I'm going to make. I try turning the heater off but the gauge just starts rising again. So I have to sit and roast and get redder by the minute.

But at least the needle is staying in the correct place. Phew.

I chill again.

I look around me and begin to enjoy the beautiful countryside. The hedgerows are crammed to capacity with wild flowers and ferns. Cottages pass as I drive... then a farm... then a little store I remember...

Oh gawd. That store. It's on the back road to Kilcreest. And I am heading to Craughwell. Who the hell moved the store? Then I realise I'm on the wrong road and heading in almost the opposite direction.

Plan C

Ring MM again. "Er sorry, but I'm going to be a bit late (again). I have gone the wrong way".

The man just laughed! Grrrrr

I arrived at the meeting place 1 hour and 15 minutes late. And very red.

Cue romantic music and people rushing into each others arm across a field of wild flowers.

Not. We met in a car park outside a supermarket so that he could whisk me away in his chariot. So romantic.

The Plan Comes to Fruition

Anyway, now I can chill. I'm being driven to the beautiful village of Cong and its surrounding woodlands, for a romantic lunch, a romantic woodland stroll and then (if all went well) a romantic dinner later. What more could I ask for.

The knight in shining armour managed to go the wrong way, twice. At that point he threw the map at me and suggested I navigate (maybe a response to my mumbled comments about lack of a sense of direction and not noticing road signs).

So now (as I'm navigating) we are on the right road and almost there. I'm terribly smug and MM is laughing at me being terribly smug...

We had lunch first. A basic vegetable soup with toasted ham and cheese sandwiches in an old fashioned bar, perfect for a wee energy boost for our pending gentle stroll. We stroll outside, hand in hand, and the rain has stopped and all is perfect in the world.

By the time we had walked around the corner, it was threatening rain again. So we return to the car to don boots (the sawn off wellingtons in my case) and coats. I had brought a beautiful dark camel full length winter coat and so put this on to keep me dry (it's drizzling by now).

We again stroll off hand in hand, in the romantic light mist (Irish rain), into the woods around the castle. I look incredibly elegant in my full length skirt, long camel coat with black velvet trim, long blonde hair wafting in the light breeze. And my sawn off wellies...

He must be incredibly impressed. Not.

The woodland was absolutely stunning. I loved it and it was well worth the drive (we went in a circle).

Within 5 minutes the romantic Irish mist had turned into a tropical summer downpour... dripping from the trees and creating that kind of grey curtain that only Irish rain on a summer's day can do. MM dragged me through black squishy mud, across stone bridges with flaking stones and rusty rails, dripping in the rain and oozing character.

My beautiful blonde wavy long hair was by now running with water and plastered to my face and head. He laughed. My mascara ran all down my face and gave me panda eyes. He laughed. The sawn off wellies had changed from green to black and I could feel squishy stuff between my toes. He laughed. I had to walk most of the way holding the floor length skirt up to avoid the mud, and showing off my very elegant bare legs in sawn off green wellies. He stared, and laughed.

I'm not sure how far we walked, but it was still beautiful. (I think MM was testing my will power and figured that if I still liked him after this, he'd get away with anything !)

Eventually we arrived back at the ruined abbey near the car. It was still pouring with rain and MM announced that he had his camera and asked, could he take my photo please. I looked at him and said "What. You want my photo with me looking like this ?" He told me I looked lovely and that his Mom and Sister would love the photo.

So I tried to pose elegantly, looking like a cross between a tent, a panda and a totally sodden drowned rat. Oh yes, and the sawn off wellies under the floor length skirt which now had the bottom 6 inches caked in mud and wringing wet, looked ravishing...

As I was posing I opened the sodden wet coat up a bit, as I was warm. I pulled my white shirt around me a bit and noticed that the coat had let the water through in 2 places only. Impressive. I had two wet patches, one on each breast... and to make matters worst, the dye in the coat had run and there were wet and light brown runny patches where my boobs were ! It looked like I was leaking. He laughed.

I hope his Mom and his Sister appreciate that photo, and the ends to which MM had to go to achieve just that 'look'.

After that we drove back to Athenry and had a lovely meal in a local Indian restaurant. The food was beautiful and the conversation easy and interesting. And no, I did not wear the sawn off wellies into the restaurant !

All in all an interesting, if damp, day... I wonder if he will want to see me again. I, for one, certainly really enjoyed myself.


  1. I enjoyed your story a lot :) Good sense of humour!
    I hope you meet again.

    Take Care
    Dahut ;)

  2. Looks you both enjoyed the day and i want to see that picture!

  3. Mentalpatient

    He has apparently already showed it to his Mom & Sister... I hate to think of the impression I have made...


    ps No way am I posting that photo on here !