Sunday night I trundled along to King Guaíre's Peasant's Banquet.
I went packed up to the gills with painkillers, feeling very ill, weak and exhausted. I expected to flake out within an hour and have to go home.
Maybe it was the mead I was given on the way in.... maybe it was the generous topping up of my glass (plastic beaker) with mead throughout the evening by the court jester, which mixed with the painkillers obviously made me mostly forget all pain and dance the night away.
The music was great fun. All hit Abba numbers played by a very realistic Abba band 'Abbaesque' (well the sound was realistic - the guys wigs were hysterical).
Now I always loathed Abba tracks - ever since my Father used to play them thinking he was very hip and modern. But this was fun in that it brought back a nutty element of the 70s and 80s, and had me dancing almost all night despite the pain.
Along with 95% of the other peasants.
A public party where everyone dances ? Unheard of. This was an absolute ball, one of the best nights I have had in a quite a few years.
Now I know what you really want is all the court gossip, such as who went outside to smoke with whom and what did the King wear under his ermine... But the reality is far more startling and People (the mag) are rather interested in the syndication rights...
Whilst sat at the table eating my peasant's fare, Saint Colman, otherwise known as Friar Tuck and once known as Austin McInerney, entertained from the stage whilst constantly playing with his robe...
While everyone was watching Friar Tuck, I accidentally (of course) dropped my fork and crawled under the table. Naturally whilst there I casually glanced over to the throne and under the table to the King's legs...
I can confirm that King Guaíre wears M&S bikini briefs... in fuchsia pink. Unfortunately I can't prove this as I didn't have a camera under the table with me (very remiss).
The highlight of my evening occurred whist I was dancing to 'Mamma Mia' in the middle of the brat pack... I was giving it my all when I spotted Father Frankie bopping through the throng clad in a very fetching little number, miming to the Court Jester that he wanted to set fire to something (don't ask). The Court Jester nodded his ascent and Father Frankie bopped off in the other direction.
Now one thing I did notice, and that is that Father Frankie can really bop.
The writer can also confirm that Mr and Mrs Minihane were decked out in all the splendour that members of the higher court echelons are accustomed to... it was truly a sight to behold.
The rest I am afraid I can't repeat. As they say... what goes on tour stays on tour...
So if you want to know then you have to buy a ticket and bloody well go next year !